Madnug Trebors
by theguywhohasaname
Summary: Basically, a cross between Gundam Wing, the odd things that happen in my head, and the even odder things that happen in my house.


I am so very, very PISSED that I haven't written anything decent in what seems like forever... So, I'm going to try my best to write something semi-okay. *growls* Alright, this is the final test... I'm changing the thoughts from everything between to everything between {}... If two particular sentences are gone STILL, then... The staff of FF.N will be as displeased as I am. And, of course, anything between () is a comment I felt like adding in at the time. With all that said, here's... Something....  
  
Heero, Quatre, Trowa and Wufei were sitting around a table in the center of the dining room of the safehouse, awaiting Duo's arrival so they could review their instructions and come up with a plan of attack. After a while, the car pulled up in the driveway, and soon afterwards Duo opened the door and entered the safehouse. "What took you so long, Maxwell?" Wufei asked, more bored than anything else. "Hey, I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault... Have you seen the way people drive lately? I mean, everyone I passed on the way here was speeding! The danger of the whole situation was... Uh... Dangerous." Duo said as he sat in the remaining empty chair.  
  
"Alright, let's go over the instructions once more before we get to work." Heero muttered as he opened up a file on his laptop. He turned the laptop towards the others, and the file played, relaying their instructions. "... And so you must take out the Klondike before they can gain any more influence." The instructions finished. "What would you do... For a Klondike bar?" Wufei sang absently. "This is serious, Wufei. If we don't stop the Klondike..." Trowa began. "Then what? They'll take over the world with their superior ice cream making abilities?" Wufei raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Wu-man, he didn't mean THAT Klondike. It's some other Klondike. Right, Heero?" Duo asked, turning towards the spandex-clad pilot. "No. They're the same. And we have to shut down Klondike for good, by tomorrow night." Heero informed them all. "Hey! We can't destroy Klondike! Dammit, Heero, I LIKE that stuff! Ice cream covered in a layer of chocolate... What more could you ask for?" Duo protested. "Quit whining. We have to do it." Heero replied in an end-of-discussion tone, which was met with a pout.  
  
"Candycane... Does anybody know where I can find Candycane?" Wufei asked in his best Rusty Nail voice, and the other pilots gave him a questioning glance. "Wufei? What are you on? And, more importantly, can I have some?" Duo questioned. "I'm just having a little fun! Is there something so wrong with that?" Wufei responded, glaring at Duo. "Well, since it's you... Yes." Duo grinned. Quatre raised a hand to stop them before they could turn it into a fight, and then quickly took a xanax. "Hey! You two stop that! You aren't helping Quatre's anxiety any." Trowa added, giving each of them a stern look.  
  
"Fine..." Duo sighed. "Ruin all my fun!" Then Quatre wandered off towards the other end of the house, while Heero thought up a plan, Trowa tried to keep himself occupied, and Wufei and Duo exchanged silent glares every once in a while. "I think I have a plan." Heero suddenly exclaimed, but before he could explain it, Quatre ran into the room wearing nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. "Hey, you guys! There's something weird going on in the bathroom!" Trowa looked up from the table where was boredly tapping his fingers, and blushed slightly when he saw Quatre.  
  
"What do you mean?" Heero, being the only one who dared to ask, looked down the hall to see if he could see anything. "Well... Uh... Look, don't laugh, but I think ants are committing suicide in the bathtub..." Quatre mumbled. Duo immediately began laughing, while Trowa and Wufei tried to keep straight faces. "Hey! HEY! I'm serious! They are! They're climbing into the bathtub and drowning themselves in the water! Stop laughing! I'm serious!" Quatre complained, annoyed that nobody believed him. Trowa, figuring somebody had to stand up for him, asked Quatre to show him.  
  
Quatre led Trowa to the bathroom, the other pilots following just because they could, and pointed into the bathtub where several ants lay dead in small puddles of water across the bottom of the tub. "See! And there are more going towards the water!" Quatre pointed at an ant walking towards one of the unoccupied drops of water. "They are... You don't believe me, do you?" Quatre asked, with big chibi eyes. "Um... Well... Yes.. I believe you..." Trowa finally managed, while Duo and Wufei laughed. "Alright, stop laughing and let's get to work on stopping Klondike's evil scheme." Heero insisted, in his usual monotone voice.  
  
Once Wufei finished singing the Klondike Bar commercial song again, and everyone was seated around the table, Heero explained his plan. "Sounds good to me." Duo said, shrugging. "There's a real vote of confidence..." Trowa smirked. "Well, it's the best option we've got, so I say we do it." Quatre said, and the other pilots agreed, and went off to bed. Seeing as how there were only three bedrooms, Wufei immediately claimed one as his own, and said he would not under any circumstances share it. Heero attempted to do the same, but Duo begged and pleaded, saying he didn't want to share a room with two people, and eventually Heero gave in. As for the third bedroom, Quatre and Trowa had no qualms about sharing it.  
  
"Get off of my side." Heero growled. "Hey, I'm on my side! Why wouldn't I be on my side? Are you implying something?" Duo asked. "Just make sure you stay off my side." Heero muttered, and then was silent. "Why would I would want to go on your side? Hey! Stop ignoring me! What are you saying?!" I wouldn't mind being on your side... But I doubt you swing that way, so... Back to denying... Duo thought to himself. "Just go to sleep." Heero finally responded.  
  
"Quatre?" Trowa asked after he and Quatre had climbed into bed (Yup! Only one bed per room! Haha!). "Yes, Trowa?" "I... Uh... No, never mind." Trowa muttered and closed his eyes to go to sleep. "Okay... I guess... Goodnight." Quatre said before closing his eyes as well. "Goodnight..." Trowa repeated. {Great... I passed up another opportunity... Oh, well. I guess while I'm in bed next to him isn't exactly a good time to say 'Hey, you know what, I'm gay and in love with you. Goodnight!'}  
  
The next morning, as usual, Heero was the first one up. "What the hell?!" He hissed as he found himself not only sleeping in bed next to Duo, but holding his braid in his hand as well. He quickly let go of the braid and quietly got out of the bed so as not to disturb Duo. "I guess I'll go see if I got an email, and then I'll wake up the others..." Heero muttered to himself as he changed clothes, since he had refused to sleep next to Duo with no clothes off, knowing what that would cause. {Yeah... If I'd gotten an erection last night, in bed with him...} Heero shook his head. {Stop that! Just forget about it. First of all, Dr. J said it isn't normal to have these kinds of feelings about other guys. Second, Duo couldn't feel the same way. So get over it.}  
  
Heero checked his email, and found a note regarding a semen sample a seventh doctor that supposedly worked with Dr. J had asked for a while ago. "Huh? The results will be here today? What results?" Heero asked no one in particular. "Well, whatever. I guess I'll wake up the others now..." Heero stood up, and bumped into something as he stepped backwards. He immediately pulled a gun seemingly out of nowhere and aimed it at the thing behind him. "Hey! Watch it! You could hurt somebody with that." Duo said, glancing at the laptop. "Weird... They asked you for one, too, huh..." Duo noted. "What? Oh..." Heero closed the email and shut off the laptop. "It's probably a standard procedure."  
  
"I don't think so. I asked Quatre about it when I got the request, and he said nobody had asked him for one. Trowa and Wu-man weren't asked for one either." Duo replied. "Well I don't know anything about it." Heero said, walking back to the bedrooms to wake up the other pilots. Before he got there, there was a knock on the door, and Heero spun around and tightened his grip on his gun. "Nobody is supposed to know we're here..." He glanced towards the window closest to the door to see if he could catch a glimpse of anyone outside, but he couldn't. He walked to the door and jerked it open quickly, aiming his gun outside at... Nothing.  
  
"What??" Heero looked around, but still saw nothing. Just when he was about to close the door, he happened to look down and saw a large basket of some sort. "Huh? What's this? Duo! Come here." Duo rolled his eyes and walked to the door, then followed Heero's pointing finger to the basket. Heero was reading aloud a note of some sort that had been attached to it. "This is the result of the two semen samples." Heero set the note on a table inside the house, and when he returned, Duo was still staring at the basket. "What is it?" Heero asked, attempting to contain his curiosity. "Um... It's... A baby carriage." Duo gulped nervously.  
  
"WHAT?!? There... There isn't a... A baby in it... Is there?" Heero peered into the carriage. "Yup." Duo confirmed Heero's fear, pulling a baby from the carriage. "Uh... This is odd..." Duo noted. "Of course it's odd. Why is there a baby here? Thi-" Duo cut Heero off, shaking his head. "No, this is more odd than that. That note said this was the result of the semen samples... And... Well, this baby looks an awful lot like you, Heero." Duo said, glancing back and forth between Heero and the baby. "It looks nothing like me! It looks like... Uh..." Heero's face went white. "It looks like you... And if you think it looks like me... And I think it looks like you... And it's supposed to be the result of our semen samples..."  
  
The other three pilots awoke to the sound of a heavy thud. They quickly tossed on their clothes and ran down the hall to see what it was, only to find an unconcious Heero lying on the floor, and Duo holding a baby. "What happened?!" Wufei shouted. "You want the long version or the short version?" Duo asked sheepishly. "The short version." Trowa suggested. "The short version would be... Uh... That... Apparently Heero and I had a baby?" Three pairs of eyes went wide as they looked from the baby to Duo, then Heero, then back to the baby again. "The baby does... Look a lot like both of you... But isn't it a little hard to have a baby without a female involved?" Quatre asked.  
  
Duo shrugged. "I don't know how it happened... A sixth doctor that works with Dr. J asked each of us for semen samples... Remember, I asked you if you had been asked for one when I got the request? Anyways... We found this guy in a carriage outside the front door, with a note that said 'this is the result of the two semen samples' attached. That's all I know." After a few moments of awkward silence, Heero woke up, and the first thing he saw was the baby. "Damn it! It wasn't a dream!" Duo glared at Heero. "Hey! Watch your language around the kid!"  
  
o.o Do not blame me. Blame... Uh... This guy over here. *shoves a random stranger in front of the readers* Unless you liked it. In which case, I'm responsible, so write me up a nice review telling me how much ya liked it. Um... Right. You read, now review, and all will be well. Chapter two will come soon, if anybody liked this chapter. See ya later! 


End file.
